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"No one who Hasn't gone hrough That can really ap- f : v2, preciate it. The room was packed “!'was sweating so much with people. "that perspiration was drip- tere ae the judge, ping off: my elbows onto arles H, Older, Manson, ’ tthe gitls, the. defense ats floor. They- kept.after torneys, the prosecuting m* all that afternoon. and ‘attorneys ‘and several, bai- liffs: a | “Please havea seat, Mrs, Roseland," someone said. 1 "Tt don't think I've ever guess it "Finally, one of the at- torneys asked how I would compare my own two , Jean Roseland looked quickly about and saWlthe female defendants only one vacant chair. As| ° ‘she moved toward it, she Then he asked ive: jostled one of the female|question in which he must and Dawn, now 16) with Peer aloes have used the name, Les- She does not recallilig Van Houten, 14 times. which one. He asked me if I could point her out in the court- room. "T said 1 didn't know which girl she was. He asked Leslie to stand and she turned and ftooked at me, from about. 10 feet "Tl was nervous, and flus- tered. The thought struck me, do you. apologize, or let it go? After all, these are human beings,. too.” | "Excuse me," Mrs. Rose- land said, finally: | For a moment, it seemed hers was the only voice in the room. ; The session in Ms judge's chambers’ didn't ; taat long and, when it was| PrOwn eyes. over; she was ushered taa juror's. chair (seat number five, first row) to be exam- ined by attorneys for both sides. It was then, her ordeal really began. "They had a microphone for me and took turns ask~ ngethe questions Alit! sinds. of questions. Perso- jal questions. About what [ believed, what m y fami iy life was. like, how old my children were, what I'd peard or read about the ase, : but it. was’ terrible.” ‘cepted as a juror. ‘dest. la | most of the next morning. One Vacant Chair . !daughters (Karen, now 18,|' away. She just kept look-} ing at me with those big}. ae _ |itwice, but I’ never man- \ “I can't really explain it,|'azed it. | Mrs. Roseland was. ac- igouldn't. I certainly found pleted. | Phat night, at home with|{ tem is eves. Te was er family, she wondered|ipression, the same expres-'Power to show absolutely, about what lay ahead..She ‘sion that they all had in|no emotion. I just sat was frightened. She was|'their eyes. mervous. But she pledged ‘and other drugs they'd herself to try: her damn- Be. Oe us By. ‘been taking for so long "Well, today's my day other jurors never heard with Charlie," Jean Rose-| noe speak, except for augned as she and’ Dee the other inrors prepared! , SHES tonyinced, \ « =a i ’ S convinced (9 go to lunch. “== \however, that his ap. ‘ During the past five|iparent ability to manipu- months, it had become ajilate others came not from standing joke among] )within hiniself, but "from them, and this morning) |the voids within the minds! had been Mrs. Roselarid's| and souls:af his followers." | jturn to try to stare down Mrs. Roseland maintains ‘Manson. she didn't always feel re-/ "He had those.eVes of histvulsion toward Manson.' on me all morning," she! At.first, the little man who said to a colleague. "He)sang of love and preached just sat there, staring at) of hate had been simply an ime." “ohject of curiosity." __ 1 fie Sint: niles “Hee at was cant in the en shrugged, an he , oy — ie group went to lunch. —‘18L_before the_evidence | In truth, this habit of began to tumble in, and Manson ‘wasn't that fun- before Jean Roseland, in nae et r he ly, Je ie despération,. consciously thought, it. was unnerving ,.. : s ; and “she wished that he tried to turn herself into a computer. would stop. oy L . Tries to Explain 5 pe about that: Later, after the trial was “OU “8t to become a any over, she attempted to ex- Puter to keep your sanity, ,_ The other juror smiled, plain her uneasiness about she said. ‘Manson. On the one: hand, the "I wasn't ever able to}siror mn wy stare him down," she said. jurors were asked to listen *f always-tumed my. eyea to months of violent, hots away first. Some of the|tible testimony, At the other jurors said they got|same time, the system de« 1im to. look away once of mands that they not begin to make up their minds “T still don't know why I until the case is com magnetism, or any-| Stored Information always the same blank ex- "T did everything in my, ; : qa {there day after day storing "Maybe, it was the L8Dliny all this horrible inford imation in my computer . ‘hanks for retrieval at a la- Mrs. Roseland and ‘the'ter date, ; "When we first heard a Sf the nature of the crimes iodic outbursts that : usialiy got him removed, that were involved, [think from the courtroom. ‘we all realized that our des