◆ SpookStack

wed a.M. “af | a y (PX eS . (ox: «al wes . . ma no special reuction yesterdeg ew when i heard vietnam had finally. gotten rid of the anerikans (vietnam SURRENDERED says the papers = hahtt), even though i keep telling people and writing how we must share the joys of comrades victoyies as woll as their sorrows + vut, this morning i was walking along in the deserted wilds of a suburban contra costa shopping center ainging the song Viet Nan Will Win ana found nyself crying; i've got an unexpected hour to write ---went to the dentist and he said i was too sick for hin to work on me; self-criticism, self—criticisa, self-critivisn —= “how many fucking times do i tell everyone cise that burned out — people can't make a revolutiont$: fuck =<=the gap between ny theory and practice on thet one is too. large to be excusable; a year ago i realized tho process was starting to set in a bit and 4 knew i had to extricate myself sone in order to preserve by . effectiveness over a longer period (never having been in SDS i never thought THE REVOLUTION was just around the corner); but, 4 haven't beun able to; my basic approach/philosophy is to try ‘to make myself as irrelevant as quickly és possible =<--no group worth shit should depend to any large degree on any one person or 4t becomes fatally vulnerable to the pigs and sectarianism; on the other hand (or whatever expression) for several years i re- fused to accept the validity of work not done in @ collective manner —--so, in the great slump of 72-74 i ran around beating ny head against the wall trying to get together collectives out of — the cynical morass of individuals that berkeley had largely become-~ -pasic result —-utter frustration, and a touch of cynicism about eynicism which is just es bad the past year has produced more suecess in terms Zof collcetive process «—though often agonizingly glow; also, i have decidod that in periods of slack collectivity some individugl action is legitimateas long as ono keeps in mind the preferability of collectivity and en awareness of the severe Limitations off individual work --~especially in torus of developing correct political perspective; » ?