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Michael Mike Royko — Part 2
Page 14
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“I believe it is a Supreme Court justice,” shouted one
judge, Surstinpeinio tears of joy, “visiting us and pondering
& great decision.”
The judges began leaping around, pointing at each other,
and shouting: “Reverse him. No, reverse him. Him. No
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room several leading
attorneys also were excited by the sight of the man.”
“Whoopee,” they cried out. “It must be one of our clients
and he is trying to find a gold filling to pay the balance of his
fee.”
Several whipped out tooth pullers and tried to help him,
while others rushed to the phones and called their wives about
a trip to Miami.
The FBI agents, meanwhile, stood stunned and ashamed.
They assumed he was a fellow agent who had brought dis-
honor to the bureau.
“Look at'the ‘cur,” bellowed one agent. “He’s standing
there holding a bar of soap in his mouth. And he deserves it.”
“What did be do?” another calied out.
“I’m sure he’s the agent that told his wife he didn’t think
Martin Luther King was such a bad guy. She turned him in.”
The reporters at that moment were crowding around the
GSA man, pleading with him to make a statement.
“He must be an unimpeachable source,” said one, “They're
the only ones who stand around that way.”
“Them and high-level informants,” said another.
“Or sources-close-to-the-administration,” said a third.
One newsman, hoping to scoop the others, rushed t) a
phone, and whispered to his editor to hold the preises.
“Fingéfs-in-mouth, foot-in-mouth, what's the difference? jim
dead drtain he's one of our diplomats back from Viet Nam.”
OFF'IN ANOTHER CORNER, the government prosecutors
were moaning, weeping, or gnashing their teeth. They were
convinced that it could only be one thing: A new young
lawyer sent over by City Hall bosses to join their staff.
“I'm sure,” moaned one, “that he is that alderman’s
nephew. The one that took the bar exam in a bar.”
This would have gone on for hours, had not the GSA ran
grown weak from trying to whistle and toppled over in a
faint.
His true identity was finally discovered while his effects
were being divided among the reporters, who wanted a picture
of his wife and children; the lawyers, who wanted a peek: at
his bankbook, and the FBI men, who wanted to know what
Organizations he belonged to, had belonged to, or intended
to join. :
And by the time he regained consciousness, his no-drinking
announcement was meaningless, anyway.
All of the liquor was gone, and everyone had left for
home. He had no choice but to file this report to Wash:ng-
ton. ee
“I did what I could, but Justice got good and blind.”
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